


Coward

by caomoyl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Battle of Hogwarts, Community: HPFT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 07:26:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6508498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caomoyl/pseuds/caomoyl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They want to know who is going to fight. How can they expect us to do this? Everyone around me is, but I don’t want to. What choice do I have? I'm seventeen; old enough to fight, old enough to die.</p><p><img/><br/>Banner by me!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coward

It was nearly nightfall when it happened. Everyone was pulled out of bed and out of their dorms. We were all taken down to the great hall; no one knew why we were going there, though most people had probably guessed. This sort of thing didn't happen without a good reason. 

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was on his way. That’s what they told us. Panic rose and Harry Potter was back. The one who will kill He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. That’s what everyone calls him. But how can one person kill him? He has slaughtered so many without even blinking. How could one school boy destroy him? He’s no better than the rest of us. All the rumours flew around about him once it was discovered he hadn't come back to Hogwarts this year. We all knew why he wasn't here, but the truth about him started to spread.

He wasn't special. His grades were mediocre at best. He was only loved because he was famous, but it’s a well-known fact that famous people are no better than the rest of us. They just like to think they are because they did one thing that made people fall in love with them. How can he think he is good enough to destroy the most evil wizard that ever lived? He’s a kid, just like the rest of us. 

He talks of fighting back but He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named just wants him. He doesn't want to start a fight, but if he needs to, he will. Harry won’t go, though. This school cares too much about him to let him. They would rather sacrifice their lives for one small piece of hope that they will win. I don’t like living in fear either, but I would never sacrifice a school full of children just to try and win. You need an army; one that has the strength and training to actually make a difference. We can’t do that here. We’re just children. 

This is where I am now. Sat in the Great Hall wondering what is going to happen next. They are escorting the Slytherins away. I wish I could go with them, but I can’t. They want to know who is going to fight. How can they expect us to do this? Everyone around me is, but I don’t want to. What choice do I have? I'm seventeen; old enough to fight, old enough to die. 

Why am I agreeing to this? I'm trying not to cry but it’s just so hard. There are so many things I was going to do today, but I can guarantee you that this was not on my list. I wish I could go home. I just want to be somewhere safe. But nowhere is safe these days.

We’re leaving the Great Hall, running to where we are being placed. The teachers are setting up defences and the last stragglers are leaving the castle through the Room of Requirement. I'm based just outside the Great Hall, up on the main staircase. I am so close to the front, so close to dying.

A tear is dripping down my face. I can’t hold them back now. I am going to die. I just know it. I am not a good fighter and I don’t know how to defend myself. They will come for me and I will fall. My only hope is to move back as far as possible without anyone noticing. The further back I am, the more chance I have of survival. 

Waiting here for them is probably hurting me more than it will when they finally arrive. Counting down what could be my final minutes before I hear the distant screams and cries as the Death Eaters start their attack. I can see the spells flying around as I cling to my wand; my last defence. 

They’re coming inside and I'm running. Everyone is running and screaming and ducking from spells. I don’t know who is who and what side they are on. Running further and further into the castle. Through the twists and turns of the corridor, shooting the first spells that come into my head at the people who look like the enemy. I could have hit anyone but am I really sending spells that could even injure? I don’t know. 

The fear. The panic. The rush of adrenaline shooting through my system. The fighting. The screaming. The madness all around. I don’t know how to stop it and I don’t know how to control. I just want out. Let me out. I can’t get out though. There is no escape. No way of surviving this vicious attack. If only I could leave and go to another place that is peaceful. But this is no dream. There is no waking up from this. I can’t take it. I want to go. Let me go. Make it stop!

I slam the door, tears running down my face. I don’t know where I am and I don’t know what is happening on the other side of this door. If I open it, I could die. But I could also escape. I need to look out of the window to see if I can work out where I am. All I can see are lights, but it looks like I'm quite high up; maybe the sixth floor. 

I can’t take this anymore. I don’t want to be here. Everything is too much for me and I just need to escape. I am not brave. All this fighting is just making me scared. I'm on my way to the seventh floor. I know what to do when I get there. It will be my chance to get away from all of this; away from this war that is murdering so many people that I love. 

The doors appear and I can slip through. There’s a way out for me unlike so many others fighting here. But they are all braver than me. They are willing to lay down their lives for the sake of others. They don’t care what happens to them just as long as the world is safe. I wish I could be like that, but I'm not.

Leaving through the hole in the wall, I mutter to myself the words that cut me up inside, that make me hate myself. The words that define who I am but also hurt me every day.

My name is Jodie Richards. I am a Gryffindor, and I am a coward.


End file.
